The problem: knowing what actually makes you happy?
What makes you really happy? Much harder question than it sounds. Personally, I have made my decision to quit office life as it does not make me happy. I feel something else will make me happy but don’t know where to begin looking for it. Thinking about it is like a massive mountain appearing in my mind… if I had a choice, what would I actually want to do with my life? What will make me happy?
The plan: find happy people and copy them
Maybe looking at people who are happy would help? So I thought, who better than kids to teach us how to be happy! They’re so much more in tune
with their Needs
and less worried about what is realistic or not, less worried about what society or their friends might think. Their number 1 concern is right now, living in the present and having fun. Now that’s a good way of being.
After thinking and looking around for a good way of getting back to being a child, I found a simple exercise that works, I guess it’s called BE/DO/HAVE.
It goes like this: if money, skill, time or experience was no object, what would you want to BE? DO? and HAVE?
What could be simpler? The first few answers in each section will be fairly standard things, but the interesting element comes from keeping at it, for at least 10 minutes, thinking hard and writing down everything that comes to your mind.
Some of the wall stuff, some plain weird and some absolute gems in there. Stuff I had not thought about for a long time, stuff I had repressed but stuff that really resonates with me now and stuff I want to work into my life.
So what did I find? A real theme of helping others and coaching that comes through this analysis, which really is something I can see myself doing and really enjoying.
The result: clear focus and direction
Having discussed and tried this exercise with friends, what we found was that you could dwindle down the various BE/DO/HAVE items to a selection of the most important ones for you, but a method was needed. Simply put, how important is each item in your BE/DO/HAVE versus the various parts of your life.
So if you have already created your wheel of life, then look at each BE/DO/HAVE item (for example Having an Aston Martin) and ask yourself: “does having an Aston Martin help me with my Finances? (not really, expensive on fuel) My Health? (I will not want to walk ever again) My Friends? (Depends the type of friends you have, maybe you’ll make some new ones on the car racing track). Rate each out of 10 and get an overall score.
You get the picture. By doing that for your BE/DO/HAVE items, you will find out the top items that are important to you. So instead of having no idea what you want in life and spreading yourself too thinly on too many things, you should now understand better what matters in your life and focus your energies on really making these things happen.